“So Val was telling me one of her next door neighbors got some kinda night shift; one of those professional party guests, apparently? I guess he comes home nearly every night drunkenly singing whatever song he feels like at the top of his lungs. Val’s son sleeps right through it like a log, but her cat-”

“Sorry to interrupt, but, how do we win this, Lillith?”

“Win what? Shutting up noisy neighbors?”

“No, what I mean is, how do we get the best solution to this Smuggsworth thing? I thought Michael was gonna handle it just fine, but… He just seems so upset, and I don’t want to make him left out or anything, you know? But Rebecca needs a challenge, too, and I just… I just don’t know.”

“That’s exactly what I was afraid would happen.”

“Kids! Come into the kitchen! I got a surprise for you!”

“Surprise! It’s cake!”

“What’s this for, Dad?”

“Well, since your mother’s out for dinner with some of her friends from work, I figured it’d be a nice idea to get a cake to celebrate Rebecca getting into the Smuggsworth Program! It’s quite the accomplishment, you know.”

“So you’re really going?”

“Yeah, I talked with Dad and we agreed it’d be good to challenge myself.”

“Congratulations! I’m so proud of you!”

“Mmhm, I think we all are, Louis.”

“Yeah, uh, congrats, I guess…”

“Louis… can I tell you something?”

“Of course you can.”

“I don’t really want Rebecca to go to that stupid program. Something about it makes me feel kinda bad.”

“Like you’re gonna miss her? You still see her everyday.”

“Yeah, but… I feel kinda like… Why can’t I go with her? I feel kinda not good enough I guess.”

“Hey, buddy, don’t say that. I think you’re good enough.”

“Yeah but you’re not a fancy program that decides who the smart kids are. You’re my brother.”

“That program… is a butt. Don’t let that get you down.”

“Heehee, you said butt!”

“I guess I did, huh?”

“You’re the best big brother ever!”

“So, Rebecca, have you decided if you’re going into the Smuggsworth Program yet?”

“I dunno, maybe. I haven’t really thought about it yet.”

“Well, the school year is almost starting. You’ll have to decide pretty soon.”

“Hm, I guess it could be fun, but I’m kinda worried Michael would feel bad.”

“Feel bad? I’m sure he’ll handle it just fine… probably.”

“Hey, I was thinking of maybe holding a little get-together when the weather warms up. You know, to catch up and all that? Mason has quite a few cousins his age to play with now. It could be fun.”

“Like a party? Can Uncle Beau come? He’s funny!”

“You speak of this ‘Bow’ hooman. I know of him. The monster who dares to reject my benevolence! Bring him to me, my servants, and you will have as many mice and birds you can eat!”

“It was great talking with you, Mr. Thomas.”

“Any time! I’m gonna recommend to your mother a Dr. Pascal Curious, but feel free to suggest him too, only if you feel comfortable, that is. He’s a trained professional who works at the hospital downtown, and he helped me out a lot when I was younger. He knows a lot more answers than most people do, even more than me, heheh.”

“That sounds neat! Thanks!”

“So you mean this dysphoria thing, it can go unnoticed? For years?”

“Uh-huh. Dysphoria doesn’t care how long it hides, just as long as it can make you feel like garbage, you know?”

“But I want to know… Why me? Why do I have to be the one to feel like this? It doesn’t seem fair. It just… It just doesn’t make sense to me.”

“That, I’m afraid, is gonna take a long time for anyone to find out.”