Tag: Erin Beaker

“Well, uh, thanks for your help, I guess.”

“I’m glad I could help. I hope you come back soon.”

“Uh… yeah, sure.”

“So, uh, what is this thing?”

“It’s a device to detect your deepest troubles. The more progress we make in helping you, the more progress you’ll make into growing from a seedling to a sprout, then a flower… maybe you’ll make it all the way to a tall tree!”

“… I don’t think flowers grow into trees.”

“Oh the things I can teach you, dear.”

“So what do I do?”

“I need you to answer this one question: are you really happy?”

“I already told you, I feel fine.”

ZzzzZZAAP!!

“Gah! What the hell was that?”

“That’s the machine detecting that your inner troubles are being suppressed.”

“Ah, my head!!”

“Just be open and honest this time, dear.”

“Well, my head hurts, for one thing.”

“Mmhm…”

“And I’m frustrated I have a long way to go to get on testosterone.”

“Hmmnn….”

“And just talking and being outside is really draining.”

“See, wasn’t that easy? No zaps this time!”

“Here we are! The right room this time!”

“I’m going to ask you a few questions, and I’d like for you to answer as honestly as possible. Is that doable?”

“That seems pretty easy. I’m in!”

“Now, would you say you’re happy right now?”

“Right now? I’m… fine, I guess?”

“That’s a common response, but I have the perfect device to help you really tap into all your inner troubles!”

“That computer on your desk?”

“No, silly! That’s for Top Level readings. Since you’re just a little seedling, we need something a little… louder.”

“Huh? What’s this room?”

Baby stuff?

There’s no baby here, though.

“Ah!! Wrong room, dear.”

“But what is this place? Are you having a baby?”

“No! Let’s just keep moving, please.”