Tag: Dirk Dreamer

“So Val was telling me one of her next door neighbors got some kinda night shift; one of those professional party guests, apparently? I guess he comes home nearly every night drunkenly singing whatever song he feels like at the top of his lungs. Val’s son sleeps right through it like a log, but her cat-”

“Sorry to interrupt, but, how do we win this, Lillith?”

“Win what? Shutting up noisy neighbors?”

“No, what I mean is, how do we get the best solution to this Smuggsworth thing? I thought Michael was gonna handle it just fine, but… He just seems so upset, and I don’t want to make him left out or anything, you know? But Rebecca needs a challenge, too, and I just… I just don’t know.”

“That’s exactly what I was afraid would happen.”

“Kids! Come into the kitchen! I got a surprise for you!”

…

“Surprise! It’s cake!”

“What’s this for, Dad?”

“Well, since your mother’s out for dinner with some of her friends from work, I figured it’d be a nice idea to get a cake to celebrate Rebecca getting into the Smuggsworth Program! It’s quite the accomplishment, you know.”

“So you’re really going?”

“Yeah, I talked with Dad and we agreed it’d be good to challenge myself.”

“Congratulations! I’m so proud of you!”

“Mmhm, I think we all are, Louis.”

“Yeah, uh, congrats, I guess…”

“So, Rebecca, have you decided if you’re going into the Smuggsworth Program yet?”

“I dunno, maybe. I haven’t really thought about it yet.”

“Well, the school year is almost starting. You’ll have to decide pretty soon.”

“Hm, I guess it could be fun, but I’m kinda worried Michael would feel bad.”

“Feel bad? I’m sure he’ll handle it just fine… probably.”

“Dirk… I don’t think we should enroll Rebecca in this program thing until she absolutely positively says she wants to.”

“Why wait?”

“Because, well, we’ve always relied on waiting for our kids to choose their paths in life without putting on any pressure either way when they make a decision. It’s why Rebecca’s ears aren’t pierced and why we didn’t have either of the boys circumcised, remember?”

“But school isn’t a body modification, Lil. It’s just a more challenging class.”

“But what if she genuinely doesn’t want to go, and she just says what she thinks we want to hear about it.”

“Then we’ll ask her, then?”

“We can’t be the ones to do it. We’ll project some sort of bias.”

“Hmm… How about we find someone neutral?”

“Yeah. I think Louis would be a good choice to talk to her.”

“But for now, just relax. I know you want the best for our kids, and you want them to make decisions independently, but I think it’s causing you a bit more stress than it should.”

“Yeah. After all, don’t we both just want them happy?”

“If it’s alright with everyone here, I have some exciting news to share with you.”

“What is it dad?”

“Are you and mom  having a baby!?”

“No, no. I was approached by the head of the Smuggsworth Program at your school earlier today.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means Rebecca’s test scores were high enough that they’d like her to be in a special gifted class this school year.”

“Really? And I’m the only one who got in?”

“It appears to be so.”

“Woah! Dad, are you serious!? I’ve been dying to get into that program since the third grade!”

“Yes, I am serious. I was in that program, too, as a child, back when we could afford it.”

“Why didn’t I inherit the torch to the Smuggsworth program?”

“Hey, I don’t make the decisions for those things.”

“Mom, if Louis and I didn’t get in Rebecca’s smart class, does that make us stupid?”

“W-What? That’s not an appropriate question to ask.”

“But are we?”

“O-Of… Of course not!”