“Ummm… Is daddy okay?”

“I went to check on him, and he was crying. He said he was in a lot of pain…”

“Maybe we should give him more ice cream?”

“Let’s not give him too much, dear. We don’t want his stomach to hurt, too.”

“Am I missing a family meeting?”

“Daddy was crying! Do you think he needs more ice cream? I think so!”

“C-… Crying?”

“Yeah!”

“I… I, um, think I should go check on him.”

“You’re back! I missed you!”

“Did you behave yourself while we were out?”

“Yeah! Is daddy all better now?”

“Ah, sort of. He’ll need to rest for a while, though. Your dad’s getting him up to bed right now, so it’s probably a good idea to use indoor voices.”

“Okay!”

“Ah, thank you two for keeping an eye on her. It’s so good to have such responsible young adults at home.”

“Oh, mom, we’re not young adults yet.”

“Shhh! Clarence! Embrace it! And thanks, mom, I’ll be sure to relay that to Michelle once her cheer practice is over, too.”

“Well, no kidding! He’s always losing his voice by the end of the work week, with that absurdly loud singing, more like screeching, he does at two in the damn morning!

“Well, that’s a relief, I guess. I mean, that means daddy’s okay, right?”

“But… There’s one thing I don’t quite understand.”

“…?”

“What’s that?”

“Usually he has something to say about that. Ripp, why didn’t you do that this time?”

“Yeah, you’re right about that. Maybe mom can look at him?”

“Yeah, see if he’ll need a doctor.”

“…!!!”

“Hey daddy! You’ll never guess what happened at school today!”

“…”

“This is the part where you guess, daddy!”

“Seriously, Ripp? Why are you taking this out on the kids?”

“Dad! Have you ever considered daddy’s not mad at you?”

“Well, I mean… I don’t see why he wouldn’t be!”

“Jeez, dad! You’re lucky I’m, like, super in-tune with other people’s emotions.”

“You are?”

“Yeah! Cousin Connor said so himself! He dabbles in tarot reading, so it’s totes true!”

“Okay, then, what’s he thinking now?”

“Hmmmm…. I’d say, daddy thiiiiiinks… It hurts to talk?”

“*nodnod*”

“How’d you do that!?”

“I told you, I’m sooo in-tune!”

“Hey, Candace, did you send in your college apps yet?”

“Nope.”

“What about your scholarships?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Did you even look at college options?”

“Negative.”

“So you’re just gonna wait until the last minute?”

“Jeez, we still got time! Chill!”

“Let’s see how you chill when even La Fiesta Tech rejects you.”