“Hey daddy! You’ll never guess what happened at school today!”

“…”

“This is the part where you guess, daddy!”

“Seriously, Ripp? Why are you taking this out on the kids?”

“Dad! Have you ever considered daddy’s not mad at you?”

“Well, I mean… I don’t see why he wouldn’t be!”

“Jeez, dad! You’re lucky I’m, like, super in-tune with other people’s emotions.”

“You are?”

“Yeah! Cousin Connor said so himself! He dabbles in tarot reading, so it’s totes true!”

“Okay, then, what’s he thinking now?”

“Hmmmm…. I’d say, daddy thiiiiiinks… It hurts to talk?”

“*nodnod*”

“How’d you do that!?”

“I told you, I’m sooo in-tune!”