“Renee! The Jacoban Girls Academy forbids short hair! You’ll be expelled and admission was very expensive! It took forever to get your father on board and here you are disrespecting us!”

“Well, maybe I didn’t want to go to this stupid school! Did you ever think about that?”

“But it’s something you need! You’re depressed because you’re unpopular, and Sister Agnes’s program can help with that!”

“I don’t give a flying fig about being popular!”

“Then what do you want in your life so badly? Money? A boyfriend? Better grades?”

“I want a penis, mom!”